My Story Behind my Smile

​

On the outside, I wore the perfect smile—a mask that convinced everyone I was fine. But beneath that smile lived an invisible story that silently defined every moment of my life.

​

My story began when I was adopted into my own family, taken home from the hospital by a single, courageous woman who became my mother. She modeled independence, faith, and strength. Yet, beneath it all, lingered a quiet whisper of being unchosen, unwanted. Then, at twelve, she died—leaving me heartbroken, shattered, and profoundly alone. From that day, my heart closed. At twelve, I made a statement, "I don't want to love if it means being hurt like this". And that unknowingly would create a prison within myself.

​

I didn’t learn to receive love—I learned to survive its absence, its betrayal, its instability. My subconscious became wired to desperately seek love, yet fiercely programmed to reject it.

 

A hidden narrative formed inside me, whispering relentlessly:

​“You're not wanted. You're not chosen. If you let someone close, they'll inevitably leave.”

​

This subconscious story created a relentless hum of anxiety, doubt, and silent shame, holding me hostage between the desperate longing for connection and the paralyzing fear of vulnerability. So I mastered the art of pretending—appearing strong, fiercely independent, and emotionally detached. Yet deep within, my heart was starved for closeness, authenticity, and truth.

This subconscious programming never protected me; instead, it imprisoned me. It magnetized emotionally unavailable partners, superficial friendships, and experiences that endlessly mirrored my internal narrative of unworthiness.

​

But my story isn’t about pain—it’s about the soul I had to bury just to survive. And the wild, fierce, radiant woman I discovered beneath all the armor and illusion.

​

The moment I chose to unravel this narrative, the noise didn’t just quiet—it vanished. And from that profound silence emerged an unstoppable clarity. I stepped boldly into my integrity, embracing my authenticity, and living my truth. I chose a life that took my breath away, one overflowing with gratitude, soul-igniting moments, and fearless love. I became the woman who unapologetically, fully chooses herself, showing up each day to create a life rooted in fierce joy and profound connection.

​

​​​​​​

​​